Top Reasons For Divorce-Lack of Connection and Intimacy

One of the top reasons divorce happens is the lack of connection and intimacy.

You can love someone so deeply and have the greatest intentions for your relationship, for him/her, and for how you will dedicate yourself to the relationship but if both of you are not willing to create connection and intimacy you will have the most difficult relationship road ahead of you. You may be traveling on that road now. You may be feeling like you love your partner so much yet something is missing and you feel frustrated. Your partner may not understand you, get you, hear you or you feel like they don’t see you. They are present physically, they may be great financial and stability providers, shouldn’t this be enough? So why do you feel so empty or alone at times. You started the relationship on a high note and everything was great.

Now that things are different between you two you may have bought into the “honeymoon” is probably over and this is what everyone goes through. This is a lie. In working with many couples I have found what is actually missing and that is the lack of connection and intimacy. Two simple words that are loaded with power to create the fulfilling relationship you long for.

Connection is something you can feel by creating intimacy. Feeling and creating are two different mediums. Feeling is a symptom of something you create. Intimacy can be created and thus achieving the feelings of connection. Most couples lack intimacy because it involves work that at times may not be “fun”. Building intimacy requires a couple both be honest, truthful and vulnerable. That last word vulnerable is a doosie because this is the one most people struggle with. Being vulnerable is scary for unique reasons. Many times people look at the word vulnerable and think this is for the weak or I don’t have time to tap into my feelings. Instead we choose to “fix” the symptoms and keep it moving i.e. stop yelling and we’ll be fine, stop working so much and we’ll be fine, make me a priority then we can be fine, I need more sex and we’ll be fine etc. Being vulnerable requires you to go deeper and understand yourself first and then learn how to express and share that with your partner. Being vulnerable creates a level of intimacy that if shared with your partner, together you create a connection that will be very difficult to be broken.

The layers of trust, respect and intimacy that you can create in a relationship would be difficult for anyone to walk away from. Having someone that not only hears you but sees you, understands your struggles, supports you and creates a safe place to work on them with you, nourishes your willingness to be a work in progress for life can be the most sustainable and loving relationship you will ever have. If both people in a relationship are willing to create connection and intimacy you can be unstoppable at being an awesome “US”.  Seeking help for marriage counseling or relationship counseling can be hard to initiate or identify if you need help read here for some helpful sings https://mindbal.com/5-signs-it-is-time-for-couples-counseling/

When you are ready for the relationship you both deserve and willing to work on for it, give me a call or send me a message at rose@mindbal.com 708-834-0909.

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